How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
