HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
