i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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