I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
