you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
