I just saw a hot homeless man
zippers are such a cool invention
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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