So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
