my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
