Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
