His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Randomize
