Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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