ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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