i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
