we're blogging at a bar
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
