hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
