i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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