Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
wow bdsm is so cute
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
