Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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