i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize