I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
