I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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