It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
