just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize