I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
