Do you still have your period?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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