I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
