Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
