I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
