and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
