i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
