Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
where are my eyebrows?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
