So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
