Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
