This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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