my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize