her vagine was all disorganized.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
