can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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