She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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