Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
