bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
