After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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