Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
