She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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