if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
