Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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