My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize