Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
