I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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