Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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