bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
someone owes me an orgasm
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Bring me that man meat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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