Betty ford says i'm here all night
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
