If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
