Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
