he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
