Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
