I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
