Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
