well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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