Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am midnight drunk by noon
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
