awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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