Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
