You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
