hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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