oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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