She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
