and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
